Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
