you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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