hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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