Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
