There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize