He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
