Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
