i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
