i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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