we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
