Welp...herpes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
