umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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