I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
