How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
