hell yes lets make some ravioli
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
