i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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