Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You need a sexual gate keeper
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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