i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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