All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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