Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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