i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
