i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
