Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
