susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
