I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
