You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Damn victory sex feels great
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
