whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
