so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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