Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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