My first STD was from a foam party
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize