I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
