The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Randomize
