u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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