are you still at the devil's house?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize