I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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