Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You are a genius and a whore.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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