we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
