do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
