no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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