he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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