the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
