I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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