i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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