My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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