But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
