you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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