ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
