Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize