I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
