I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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