There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So many bounce houses so little time
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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