just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
