nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I fill condoms, not promises.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
