I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
