dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
