We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i black out too much to be "responsible"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize