I wanna bring you to show and tell
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
