Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
