Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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