I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
