tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're breaking my sexual little heart
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize