My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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