ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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