I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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