I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
