): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
