I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
