I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
