Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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