She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
