Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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