Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
