my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
