She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
