home. puking in laundry basket.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
