i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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